Nepal123.com - 5

To all the married men and especially men who married young, I desperately need your help. How do you feel about your decision in hindsight? I'm 21M, about to finish my bachelors and my parents are already considering getting me married in a few years.

I, however, want to be celibate and focus on my family and myself for the rest of my life. I feel like once you get married, you're obligated to work for and please your partner even if she doesn't return the favor. I'm afraid that I'll be less desirable to my partner few years after marriage once the excitement wears off. Then I'm stuck being her provider, making compromises and devaluing myself just to please her.

My parents also married young and boy did my dad suffer just to maintain that relationship. My mom frequently emotionally abused and emasculated my dad and I also fell victim of her abuse. My younger sibling also died an infant due to her neglect and that has also traumatized me a lot. I wanted to mention this to give you context of why I feel this way about marriage.

Despite what my dad's been through, he still (in a few years ) wants me to sign a legal contract with someone I barely know and call it a day. He's a stereotypical bloomer who's been hiding everything behind closed doors to save his face from the society's judgement. I'm an emotionally vulnerable guy especially when it comes to close ones. If I were to face half as abuse my dad did, I'd take it out on myself and commit suicide.

– I just wanted to ask the men who got married: has it improved or worsened your life? Has it prevented you from fully enjoying or making accomplishments in life or has it been the opposite? Women also feel free to give your thoughts.

– And finally, what approach should I take to convince my parents that marriage isn't for me? I'm (now) their only child, they have high expectations of me and I love them dearly but I just can't do something so out of my comfort zone and sanctuary just for their happiness. I also fear being disowned or being regarded as a lesser being in front of them just because of my choice.